YOU have the right 2 your own opinions which you can surly give.....Just Keep It Tactful......
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see details on comments & reactions to the right and below)....keep it positive ;-D
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Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Past Relationships...How do you leave it?
Do you still get along with people in your past relationships and/or remain friends and that's it...or once you end it its over..that's it and that's all?
absolutely. I always seem to remains friends regardless of the way it ended. It may take time to develop that friendship but eventually we are at least cordial. Besides that old saying is true...living well is the best revenge ;0)
Wow this is really deep! You would think someone old as me would not have this issue. I'm dealing with this right now! Someone who I love dearly came back into my life only to disappoint me again! I'm hurt and disappointed but realize that the answer to this situation is to let it go and JUST MOVE ON!!!!
I think I'm good with all of my ex...but as far as friendship, that can't happen with me being married...which is fine because most ex couples only talks about the past..what would have, could have, and should have!!
I usually have a good rapport with people from previous relationships I've been in. I don't always purposely pursue to actively socialize with them yet if that were to happen it would be okay. The only relationships I DO NOT keep contact with are those men who cheated during the course of my relationship with them. If I couldn't trust them during, I wont trust them after... don't waste my time, I wont waste yours.
Yes, or No is the result but like everything else context is what leads each of us to that choice and can‘t be answered by anyone on the outside of that relationship. The context of who we are as individuals, what our wants were in becoming involved with the other person and the consequences of why it ended. For me romantic relationships are the pentacle of my personal needs, friendship is a few steps below that and I have and do tell my friends that in advance not to ask me to chose between them and those relationships. If all I ever wanted was simple companionship then I would guess I could remain involved with someone after the fact or even want simple friendship with them. Yet on a personal note I find friendship full of limitation of look but don’t touch, far but only so far and the same demands of understanding and compromise with out the rewards those more intimate offer. Trust may have limits in reality, yet is that what we want in our hearts is limited trust and places we are not allowed to go beyond with one another.
Once you have that commitment false or true would any be happy to be around the person that denied that by leavening or ending it. If you have kids do we want someone that will teach them by example the only one they can trust to compromise there wants or change their own perspective is themselves first and foremost by the example they wouldn’t compromise for even their own children or any that love them in spite of being given less by the very person who wants more or different? As someone left holding the bag as it were the word Bitterness fits, in being the one left alone and told you are not what I want anymore no matter what they said or promised before, the ones that left, living with the guilt of doing that to a lover or children, playing a blame game to avoid that guild or need to compromise beyond individual wants. In that case you wouldn’t want a friend of that person because they are not a friend too you, and most often many friendships are more self serving than even that. In the other extreme context say both agree an end is what they both truly want, I would say is all they ever were was mostly friends so nothing really changed except they had sex for a while. If it was a marriage or family and one wanted someone or just not the other anymore, while the other didn’t feel that way I would say Not to try to be friends but leave and let the hurt heal with out the reminder of the pain they caused and are denied every day what they had grown to love and now have to live with out.
ALL BUT ONE ! I TREATED HER BADLY, WHICH WAS UNCHARACTERISTIC OF ME ! I'D LIKE TO MAKE AMENDS TO HER AND APOLOGIZE FOR MY BEHAVIOR AT THAT TIME IF I EVER SEE HER !
absolutely. I always seem to remains friends regardless of the way it ended. It may take time to develop that friendship but eventually we are at least cordial. Besides that old saying is true...living well is the best revenge ;0)
ReplyDeleteWow this is really deep! You would think someone old as me would not have this issue. I'm dealing with this right now! Someone who I love dearly came back into my life only to disappoint me again! I'm hurt and disappointed but realize that the answer to this situation is to let it go and JUST MOVE ON!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think I'm good with all of my ex...but as far as friendship, that can't happen with me being married...which is fine because most ex couples only talks about the past..what would have, could have, and should have!!
ReplyDeleteI usually have a good rapport with people from previous relationships I've been in. I don't always purposely pursue to actively socialize with them yet if that were to happen it would be okay. The only relationships I DO NOT keep contact with are those men who cheated during the course of my relationship with them. If I couldn't trust them during, I wont trust them after... don't waste my time, I wont waste yours.
ReplyDeleteYes, or No is the result but like everything else context is what leads each of us to that choice and can‘t be answered by anyone on the outside of that relationship. The context of who we are as individuals, what our wants were in becoming involved with the other person and the consequences of why it ended. For me romantic relationships are the pentacle of my personal needs, friendship is a few steps below that and I have and do tell my friends that in advance not to ask me to chose between them and those relationships. If all I ever wanted was simple companionship then I would guess I could remain involved with someone after the fact or even want simple friendship with them. Yet on a personal note I find friendship full of limitation of look but don’t touch, far but only so far and the same demands of understanding and compromise with out the rewards those more intimate offer. Trust may have limits in reality, yet is that what we want in our hearts is limited trust and places we are not allowed to go beyond with one another.
ReplyDeleteOnce you have that commitment false or true would any be happy to be around the person that denied that by leavening or ending it. If you have kids do we want someone that will teach them by example the only one they can trust to compromise there wants or change their own perspective is themselves first and foremost by the example they wouldn’t compromise for even their own children or any that love them in spite of being given less by the very person who wants more or different? As someone left holding the bag as it were the word Bitterness fits, in being the one left alone and told you are not what I want anymore no matter what they said or promised before, the ones that left, living with the guilt of doing that to a lover or children, playing a blame game to avoid that guild or need to compromise beyond individual wants. In that case you wouldn’t want a friend of that person because they are not a friend too you, and most often many friendships are more self serving than even that.
In the other extreme context say both agree an end is what they both truly want, I would say is all they ever were was mostly friends so nothing really changed except they had sex for a while. If it was a marriage or family and one wanted someone or just not the other anymore, while the other didn’t feel that way I would say Not to try to be friends but leave and let the hurt heal with out the reminder of the pain they caused and are denied every day what they had grown to love and now have to live with out.
ALL BUT ONE ! I TREATED HER BADLY, WHICH WAS UNCHARACTERISTIC OF ME ! I'D LIKE TO MAKE AMENDS TO HER AND APOLOGIZE FOR MY BEHAVIOR AT THAT TIME IF I EVER SEE HER !
ReplyDelete