I'm sure many things come to mind like;
“Love is blind”....
“Love who you love the way you want”....
“Don't be fooled by love nor lonely hearts”....
Just remember.....
“Love doesn't hurt”
Follow your instincts, your guts and watch for any 'n' ALL signs if you make the choice to venture down that road again....
If you take a VERY close look at the picture above.....Someone could be saying one thing and really meaning something totally different in the inside, as well as on the outside of the BIG house....On that note....
DON'T LET THE GOOD TASTE FOOL YA ;-)
Just be wise about the choice you make.
ReplyDeletewell 1st u need to ask ur self some questions like do u do visits, what limits do u have,do u feel like he using u,what is his plans when he gets out ect than do pros or con or just follow ur heart
ReplyDeleteLove is no joke, so first you should visit him and see if its real with him. Ask him what are his goals when he gets out. Just be sure. At the end of your day do just like QJ said follow your heart.
ReplyDeleteMake sure its right for you. Don't be used as some men/women tend to do b/c they locked up and need companionship. I work at a jail and see this all the time. The girls visit,writes, and keep Commissary account Fat. The guy in turn has Zero plans to be with her and has a few different women doing the same thing. Not saying this will happen to you. Don't go in with your guard completely down. How ever he be sincere and humble. Just be careful!
ReplyDeleteRemember that God will put people in our lives for a season. The season may have past. Dont destroy your future by holding on to the past.
ReplyDeleteWell i think you should pray to God about any relationship if they are in jail or not. Make sure you are equally yoked and that it's mutual. If so go for it!!!
ReplyDeleteI would find out what he is going to do once hes out. see if his head is in the right place, and he has an objectives. Man make sure what you had was real not just ukno, and his heart is real not jus leading if that is wat you think is good for you GO!GO!GO! But remember you are the only one who knows the real story make sure your happy first....
ReplyDeletewhen you say ex boyfriend and now he trying to rekindle just make sure before you get truly involved again that he will not become a ex ex boyfriend when he touch down ,but right now you might ease back and re evaluate his intentions because he still got 3 yrs left for commensary and telephone calls and anything else that cost.right now you are filet mignon,and when he get out you might turn into 99cent hamburger.
ReplyDeleteI like all the advice to make sure u know what his plans are. However, unrealistic. Are you ready to carry him until he is in a position to implement plans. Can you feed a grown man until he can feed himself? Are you ready to open your home and life to the authority that will constantly monitor him? Love costs. Can u pay?
ReplyDelete"EX" serves a purpose and shouldn't be taken lightly ... what was the reason for the break up to begin with? You left off with a break off so starting again where you left off will lead to the same thing!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry...i'd question ANYONE who'd even contemplate a relationship with someone incarcerated. I can understand if you were together, and he got locked up. but wtf is going on in ur life, that you'd entertain the thought?? They line up women so they can make the time pass by and keep $$ coming in. wth can afford collect calls-we're in a recession and he has THREE MORE YRS TO GO? girl, go outside and find your self esteem...PLEASE!
ReplyDeleteSo many choices out there, why not a felon? Sometimes it is better just to give up and aim low, in this case really, really low.
ReplyDeleteI found myself in a similar situation about 14 years ago. I had a great relationship with this this guy I was dating,I mean so good that after we broke up we remained friends. We were friends for a long time and then eventually we just stop talking. Until one day out of the blue I received a called from him from jail. Surprisingly to me he was locked up. I was extremely shocked because he was a good guy (so I thought.)We rekindle our relationship while he was incarcerated. I went to see him, gave him money, and excepted his calls. I'm saying bra talked big game while he was in there. And most of them do. They have nothing but time to think about what they would do if they had the opportunity to. Men in prison know how to tell you what you need to hear. How they would be the perfect man! So to make a long story short. He got out and kept every word:). We have been married for 12 years now, have two boys, best of friends, very happy and in love. However this don't happen to everyone. I know some people who tried it and was hurt along with disappointed. So I said all this to say, it can go either way you just have to know your mate and you alls relationship. Even if he talks big game you know deep down if he's running game or not. If in your heart you love him and believe he loves you I would give it a shot. Don't have expectations! Do not try to control him when he gets out! Give him space, he has been locked up a long time and if he wants to hang with you trust me he will. Don't leave because people tell you to or judge you(which people did to me, mind you they all single now, lol.) We have to walk our in own journey to have our own testimony, and down every path is gonna be a curve, a hill, a bump, but if you keep going you will find the right path. Hang in there even if it is as a friend!! Pray, Pray, Pray!!! Good luck!! SN: What works for me may not work for you. Hoped this helped.
ReplyDeletei have work in the prison for ten years . I spoke with a man who was serving life. he told me that in prison if you have sex with a man you are not considered gay because you don't have a choice.but when you are on the streets you have a choice to be with a man or a women, so to the person who's x was in prison remember he was a x for a reason and serving time in prison. he already has 2 strikes against him . change your number.
ReplyDeleteWell this is a though one.... I've been in the same predicament before and all i can say is be wise about the life changing decision that youre about to make. Theres alot behing all of this, besides trying to figure out if his intentions are sincere there's also the question can you actually do it. Having a significant other in prison is way harder than what most think, both spychologically and emotionally and well it's a big resposibility to carry on specially if you aint ready to wear the shoes. You get caught up in alot of diferent emotions and sometimes its harder than what most imagine. Think about it and evaluate if this is somrthing you can carry on with and of so more power to you girl love is great. But if you question yourself even slightly then this might not be the thing for you to get into.
ReplyDeleteJust because your man is in prison doesn't mean he is participating in gay acts. And whether your man is in prison or on the street you take a chance with him being on the DL. You just have to trust and believe your mate. And in prison men know they have a choice and the choice is to masturbate, abstinence, or participate in gay acts. Now I met a guy who said he was rapped in prison so he doesn't feel he's gay nor do I. But like someone else stated you need to worry about if this is the commitment you want to take on because it is a lot. Unless you play it smart like I did and let him know off the rip you don't have money to send and take collect calls then you don't have to worry. Otherwise he will expect money, several visits, and for you to except his calls. And don't start something you cant finish. Now if he really cares about you he will not ask you to spend on him like that, he might find another chick to use. But some women don't want there man asking nobody else for money so they take on the whole load. Now just to let you know I had a man in prison and now my brother serves time but I give more than monetary gifts, I give my friendship which uplifts their spirits and they appreciate that just the same. But it's your choice, be his friend or be his pay master. I say be a friend it last longer, it can develop, and/or no one gets hurt.
ReplyDeleteGirl stop trying to figure out if you want to date this guy again because you can't not while he is in prison. By him being in prison the only thing you can do is be his friend or paymaster. Your ex is not in his right mind right now. He has not been around women in a certain period of time so all he can do is reminiscent about the past and think about the future but no one knows what the future holds. So I would say be his friend and when he gets out if he is still interested then all good. If you all wasn't together before he went to prison it might not workout the other lady was lucky because you don't see that all the time. And he might have good intentions we all do when we are down. Just think of when you were at your worst and you prayed and asked God to deliver you. I am sure you said if he do you wont do it again and you probably did. Rekindling your relationship while he is in prison is out of the question.
ReplyDeleteI was blessed to have rekindle my relationship with my ex while he was locked up. But I did what these ladies are suggesting I was his friend and I didn't expect nothing else. Yeah I flirted with him and gained feelings for him but I knew I didn't want to label our relationship as girlfriend boyfriend while he was lock up. I knew or thought that guys talk for the moment. So when he got out I would have been his friend or his lover. And if he would have said friend, I would have missed the romantic letters and flirting but it wouldn't have hurt my feelings because I didn't change my life for him, I din't spend a lot of time and money, and most importantly I had no expectations. I did what I wanted to do and he realized I had his back and I was a good woman therefore he wanted to marry me. Now ask yourself this, if he gets out and the relationship doesn't workout like you expected it to would you be mad and why? If you said yes you would be mad because you put your time and money into this relationship and you thought he would get out and you all would still have this relationship you have while he is in prison then don't do it. Don't do something that you might regret. Don't do something you have no control over. What are you looking to gain from this? The only thing you can get from this and not regret it is a friendship. With a friendship your life is not on hold for him and you are not obligated to take care of him. But in the end you didn't turn your back on him when he need you most.
ReplyDeleteRUN AND HIDE!!!!!
ReplyDeleteTHAT'S A DECISION YOU HAVE TO MAKE ! LOOK AT THE PAST AND WEIGH THE PRO'S AND CON'S ! MY ADVICE IS TO WAIT TIL HE GET'S OUT AND REMAIN FRIENDS ! GIVE HIM AT LEAST A YEAR TO SHOW YOU THAT HIS PAST LIFESTYLE IS BEHIND HIM AND HE WANTS TO LIVE RIGHT ! THAT'S IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM ! IF NOT, REMAIN FRIENDS WITH HIM BUT MOVE ON !
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