Well, when my dad returned, he went into the room with his wife and next he was walking so fast down that hallway it looked as if he ran a race in half a second and I swear to you all, I saw the middle of next week!!! For those who may not know what that is nor the meaning. Back in the day, parents would say; “I will slap, beat, or smack you into the middle of next week”...on that note...
Let me just say you young folks got it easy..... REALLLLLL easy!!!!
On another note I have a friend who's 13 year old daughter hauled off and socked the ba-jesus out of her soon to be stepfather and drew blood I believe. Out of respect he contacted her mother to advise her of the ordeal and her reply was “handle your business and do what you gotta do or she wont respect you if you don't”. So in a nut shell...he tore that rump up and yes, so far, so good.... all is good on the home-front and she has gained respect for him to this very day.
Each scenario is different with every child, home, incident etc, but as long as you both have a mutual agreement how the children should be disciplined rather verbal or physical then you stick with it and no changing the rules in the middle of the game if you will. If the child/children see you all flip flopping back 'n' forth all over the place on what is, what should be etc, etc...game over you all lost.
First thought is, children come first so one shouldn't marry a person that they do not feel they can allow to discipline their child. That is an early sign of either not knowing them well enough to be sure that your perspectives and discipline styles are the same.
ReplyDeleteNest it depends on what age and stage of gtowth that step parent comes into the household. one there from infancy up should not pose an issue for the child since they've known them all their life as a parent. But a step parent coming in during adolescence and teen years should be more of a support to both the other parent and child. But the challenges of divorce and or remarriage, along with the regular teen issues is complex enough without adding an instant parent as a disciplinarian.
Well as a parent I had my children remove from the home after I beat my oldest child. Their father refuse to allow me contact. I was arrested and sentenced for that. I now take parenting and anger management.
ReplyDeleteAllow me to say this first. Some people utilize words that others may not be able to relate to, so don't ASSume or judge without knowing the facts.
ReplyDeleteNow with that said I'm going to yes, "ass"ume your beat means spanking?? If so, then I do not understand how that happened to you????
My ex-husband tried that same bull and I was NOT going for it. My kids had their own attorney and as I explained to their attorney I just don't haul off and beat my kids, nor is spanking them the first option. I explained to them that they have had time-out, things removed, punishments and spanking is a last resort and sometimes first depending on what it is. He asked when was a time I spanked him first and I said when he followed 2 other boys under the desk to steal something off the teachers desk, then try to lie about it!! I told him I'm a single parent now and its me against the world. I also told him I will fight tooth and nail to make sure my African American son is NOT a statistic in the system as long as I have breath...
I told him if my ex husband has made the choice to longer spank the children when they visit him every other weekend than so be it, but HE WILL NOT RUN MY HOUSEHOLD in how "I" discipline our boys!!!!
That attorney told me in his household his wife does the spanking and he does not and sometimes households are divided like that and its okay. The attorney tried to sway me to sign my right over to no longer spank them and I told that attorney that him and my ex husband can take a slow boat to hell and I would not sign my parental rights nor will my ex-husband try to degrade my mothering skills. To this day I still have my children and if they deserve a stiff good one for stealing, lying or things along that line I will be the holy mess out of them...Does that mean abuse NO it doesn't, but they will learn, know, understand and accept it as long as they are under my roof!! Now, when they're grown and out on their own then that's on them, but I still have a job to do and the ex can go row that boat until they are 18 and 1 day over....Sorry for the long talk, but you may want to revisit that chapter with a different attorney. Good luck to you on that...
That is a touchy subject in my house right now. My kids step-father is an a**hole and he goes out of his way to be a a**hole to them. When I buy smacks he hides the ones he likes from the kids. His favorite words are "no" "get down" he is a classic mother*ucker and I am going to divorce his sorry a**. He is so jealous of my kids. He is like having another little kid in the house. I regret the day I meet him. Lousy a**hole!!!!
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