Women have you dated or married a man and found out he was a down low brutha?
Men have you flirted, dated, or married someone who you thought was a woman and found out he was transgender (male to female)?
If someone has undergone transsexuality is he or she obligated to explain right upfront or sometime later after they had a chance to know the person better or even if at all since they've crossed over to be who they want us to believe they are? ~~ MAD AS HELL!
That is a very troubling issue. As maddening as it is to find out you are dating someone who is not the sex you thought he is...... You have NO IDEA how incredibly painful it is to be a transgender, they suffer daily, both mentally and phys...ically- and it is not because of their want to change themselves: IT IS THE RESULT OF OUR SOCIETY WHO DOESN'T APPROVE AND CALL IT A MENTAL DISORDER. I happen to have a relative who was once a woman and she (or shall I say as a sign of respect- HE) is on the verge of making a sex-change. I used to think it was disgusting and twisted to want to transform your body, to disagree with the way God created you, and it seemed to me it was like a costume they are forcing themselves to wear..... And then I met Michael. He is just a charming, nice, moral, funny, brave and very sane young man who didn't want to remain a woman. It disgusted him. Can I understand it??? NO... Nobody can truly understand anyone fully, like most people won't understand how can people like me be gay and be attracted to guys, or I can't understand how could anyone be attracted to boobs- to me it's really ugly. BUT it doesn't give anyone the right to judge people for what they feel. At the end of the day, a person who is true to himself is honest in SPIRIT, and if he doesn't accept how he looks he CAN change how he looks until he likes it. You can have a boob-job, your lips widened, a thousand and one piercings, your back covered with tattoos, 15 babies pouring out of your vagina, a hair brightened to look as bright as the sun, a laser surgery to get rid of your glasses, hot wax to remove your extra hair on your legs and even a wooden hand- WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU HAVE A SEX-CHANGE WITHOUT PEOPLE JUDGING YOU??? What's the big difference???? Michael is more of a man than most natural born men, because he feels it in his soul and his heart. And he is being discriminated, treated like a mental patient and mocked at for being different, for being who he really wants to be. Can you imagine how hard it is to find love when you're locked in the wrong body??? And fearing your loved-one might not love you for who you REALLY are??? And of course no transgender can tell about his/her secret right away, because almost nobody would want that! They have to please their lovers without telling the truth until they have the surgery and sometimes they don't even tell the lover when they're changed. In a lot of cases lying is just plain wrong, but in this one, you have to understand what the other side is going through! It's NOT easy and he/she DOESN'T want to hurt anyone, they are in love and are afraid they won't be loved back if the secret was to be revealed! And honestly here, who would stay with someone who isn't the sex he's / she's attracted to after this kind of confession??? Nearly no one. So of course they rather wait until the sex-change for the right time to tell the truth, or never. Society must stop being so heartless for transgenders, this is the 21st century for God's sake, we were supposed to be evolving by now..The comment above is one of the longest I ever read and I think I managed to post it in the blog as well. I hope people will respond because this is a subject that REALLY NEEDS TO BE BROUGHT UP. Things can't stay the way they are, people are suffering.
ReplyDeleteWell I am guilty...I don't like to see no one change what The Good Lord has gave them. I have thought about a boob job, butt implants, but then I thought and said naw I'm good, I give thanks for what I have. There are some people out there with breast and butts smaller than mines so I could be worse off. If I change anything that means I am fake and not thankful. So I am not changing anything. And society thinks those people who are gay and trans gender are crazy because studies have proven that most of them have some kind of biological defect. I learned in college that most feminine gay men brain is larger on the part of the brain that makes you act feminine (sensitive) and we all know about the topic of chromosomes. But to answer the topic, lucky for me I have never dated someone that was down-low or not the I know of. That is a big fear I have, to date a gay man. I think what the do is nasty and an abomination before God but I am not judging, I just hope I never have to deal with this. I told the man I am with to please respect the fact that I don't want to sleep with a gay man so if he finds himself attracted to men please be respectful and let me go. He do not have to tell me anything just break it off and in turn I will respect him for it.
ReplyDeleteThis has never happen to me, but it happen to a good friend of mine, and I remember him being very upset. My homeboy was telling me that he found this girl and he really liked her. It was crazy because everyday he was with her, so about two months later he finally brings the lady over so I can meet her. When you first meet her you don't think anything, but as we continue you talk things were not adding up. I start thinking this person was a man because we were talking about youth sports and this lady knew everything. It was wierd because I would ask was she a cheerleader. Came to find out that the girl was a guy and use to play on my football team. It was a very wierd situation because I did not know how to tell my homey, he was all into her. So I pull my homey to the side ask he straight up did you have sex with her. He tells me that it was not like that he really wanted to get to know her.Now me being a true homeboy I could have went to the other homies but I didnt. I waited a couple of days, tried to find the old pictures of us on the football team. I couldnt so I just told him and when I did. He said things are a little wierd. This happen over 25 years ago, but I do know that took a toll on my homey. So at the end of the day people make decision based on feelings, and it can get you in to some serious stuff, or you just don't let it bother you.
ReplyDeleteI would think if they didn't tell someone in the beginning then eventually they would and I'm talking before sex. I say this because if that person wants biological children then its NOT fair to to keep a hidden secrets. True one can adopt, but give the person the option to say yay or nay....
ReplyDeleteI think if you're transgender (and from experience with them) it's devastating enough that you're humiliated, discriminated against and hated for not feeling comfortable as the gender you are, and from a religious standpoint, I think everyo...ne goes through trials in life to make them who they are, and to learn to appreciate life and other humans more than if we all had perfect, easy lives. I don't think it's sin to not feel comfortable as one gender. Anyways, if someone was post-op I don't think she/he should feel required to tell the other person, it ruins the fact you're trying to be the gender you always wanted to be, and anyways, if they loved and accepted you as they did, as a spouse/partner, your gender you were previously shouldn't matter, if you pass as the opposite gender.
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