We women all know that many men who are "serious about a relationship" are just as bad as some women in a relationship, who constantly wonder if the woman they're with really love them for them or just because a child was conceived.
Most men want to know if they're loved for who they are or because of the child and I'm sure many of you out there have experienced this situation at first hand. They will often ask their female friends or members in their family as well as their male friends without asking (like they know, yea right)...lol....
If you've gone through something of this nature or something similar. Please help assist this gentleman with his question....Thank you ladies for your time...
I not going thru anythig. However I wanted to answer this question. You know before children. Helloooo!!! First comes love, than comes marriage, than comes the baby in the baby carriage. Don't get it twisted!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy was I just humming the tune in my head...LOL
ReplyDeleteWith today's view of sex, it is easy to produce a child out of this relationship. In the case where the man is simply there for that, there will NOT be a marriage coming as a result of the child. He is just going to be a "baby daddy". Usually at this point you find exactly what type of relationship you had. Women however, will view that child as the key element to a relationship (a family). The problem is it will be a single parent household. Ladies that is definitely your child and your life is forever changed. A man, if he lives somewhere else, will continue to do the same things he always did. So for a man, 9 times out of 10 sex is not love and he should have talked about faily planning and not had a child.
ReplyDeleteWe all would like it to be marriage first, baby second. But to a man sex is not love. It is just sex. Depending on how many women a man knows one of them will not care about family planning because " he loves me". But did not marry you when you told him that you were pregnant.
ReplyDeleteI know this is off the actual question asked above, but since the person above went off track allow me also. If you're saying he loves you, but went out and had a baby elsewhere then excuse me that's NOT saying he loves you. If you are saying that, then you may want to think about it, before you speak about it. I can think of a lot of things its saying, but that's not the topic today lol. IJS!
ReplyDeleteLet me start by saying this in the matter. Those of us who are considered "mature" (over 30) definitely have different views that our maturing young adults. We were afforded a different set of values and the family structures even if their...e was only one parent in the home was. Now, everything that we held high on our list like "love" has beem trivialized. Sexual encounters are frequent and may not be done as a higher step in the development of a sincere and meaningful relationship. When it is viewed in such a casual manner the participants do exercise the need for [protection against diseases or children. I must confess I am the Anonymous contributor of this topic. I want people particularly young ladies to know that men these days are not looking for a long relationship in their earlier years. They want to have fun. Unfortunately the image that Television is giving our young people is that casual sex done by a large group of people and race, Income or nation of origin does play a part in this. Do you think I am wrong about that? I don't think so. Sarah Palin daughter just had a baby and she is NOT married and the daddy has broken up with the daughter. Maybe my topic should have been "What values is the media giving our Hip Hop Youth? Can being a entertainer give you the life you want to live? Is the high profile life and the Bling Bling all there is to Life? I have sons and daughters and only one is aspiring entertainer (a comedian). The others are looking into a profession that will sustain them through life. I further confess that all my children are NOT from the same mother.
ReplyDeleteThank you for owning up to your question. I do however, believe that most men these days aren't looking for long term relationships. Does media play some part in it...Yes I do believe a portion of that, and I don't believe its just Hip Hop either...its depicted every where these days in many different races, cultures, genders etc.... The other portion comes from whats seen or valued in the home...their up bringing, their mentality etc...
ReplyDeleteI think love needs to come before the child, because a child born to parents who don't really love each other is likely to grow up in a home where the father or mother (there's both scenarios) aren't present, because they feel the child was... a mistake and don't want to raise it with someone they can't fathom living with and being faithful, and sharing incomes.
ReplyDeleteI don't think a kid deserves to be born to a father and mother who don't love each other, or have interest in giving the child a emotionally healthy childhood. I mean, all of the notorious serial killers like Manson, Bundy, etc. were born to unwed, single and young mothers who lacked any real interest in them or their welfare (Manson's mom sold him once to a childless waitress for a pitcher of beer) and their fathers didn't care and were out of the picture. Kids born in situations like that have high rates of sexual promiscuity and getting into crime and drug use.
A real man will acknowledge the fact he got the chick pregnant, and do his best to be a good dad, he doesn't have to marry her or live with her, but be a good father and love his child. What if he's a teenager and too broke to pay support? At least cuddle and love the kid, and raise them as best you can. A good relationship will do more than clothes from baby gap or brand name disposable diapers ever will. Child support or being deadbeat won't buy happiness, self confidence and a happier future and childhood. Then, on that same token, don't sleep with someone and expect that if a mistake happens, they'll be willing to be a parent. Some people don't give a shit if they created another human, or how detrimental it is to a person to know their mom or dad doesn't give a rat's ass about them, or be a loving parent.